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We had accepted that it would be just the two of us – until a donor egg changed everything

Maria Peltonen (name has been changed)

At first, I wondered whether our child would feel like a stranger due to having inherited their character traits and appearance from someone else. Looking at the child in my arms now, there’s not a trace of doubt left in me. She’s my healthy, lovely little girl who looks just like her daddy.

We had been trying for a baby for a few years when, six years ago, we went to the municipal clinic to find out if there was something wrong with us. The tests found nothing wrong, but I had just turned 40, which meant I was no longer eligible for infertility treatments through the public healthcare system.

We made an appointment at a private clinic. The very first in vitro fertilisation, or IVF, led to pregnancy. Unfortunately, I miscarried.

However, the doctor said it was a good sign that something had happened, which gave us the faith to carry on the treatments with our own gametes. I think we had as many as seven treatments almost without a break.

Once one treatment round was over, I forgot it and carried on towards the next one. We didn’t ruminate on the disappointments but decided to try again each time.

Doubts about using a stranger’s egg

I was growing older, and our hopes began to dwindle. Because we seemed to have no luck having a baby with our own gametes, we began to think about using donor eggs. What bothered me was that the baby wouldn’t inherit any of my physical features.

In the end, I decided the child would take after us by growing inside me for nine months and living with us. Appearance doesn’t matter. She’s our child, even if someone else has helped us a little and donated us some building blocks.

At first, I wanted the donor to be someone I knew so that I would know something about her. But we had no results from treatment using a familiar donor’s eggs. We started to wonder if a familiar donor was a good idea anyway, because I might compare the child to her whenever we met.

At this stage, we changed clinics. We had one treatment round with donor eggs, and it resulted in pregnancy. However, more thorough tests showed that the embryo hadn’t attached itself to the womb.

I was also on the waiting list for treatment at Ovumia, but I’d missed my turn for donor egg treatment due to the pregnancy. The staff at Ovumia were apologetic and decided to start my treatment anyway.

The doctor knew my background from before. It felt good when she said she was pleased to help us because of the long journey we had behind us.

Third time’s the charm

As there was reason to be hopeful, we had a third try. We immediately got a donor. She was young and had been thoroughly checked out, and the third try turned out to be lucky.

I’m now 46 years old and we have a little baby girl. It’s been a long journey, but it was worth it. Looking at my princess, six years feels like nothing.

In a way, we had already accepted that it would be just the two of us. Yet at the same time, we didn’t want to give up. I’ve had no trouble with the hormone treatments, as they haven’t caused any mood swings or other problems.

The staff at the clinic have often wondered how we manage to stay so positive. Of course, a negative result is always a huge disappointment, but somehow I always knew there was a treasure waiting for us at the end.

The clinic has become part of our family. They encouraged us and kept their fingers crossed for us. It’s been a pleasure to go there for the treatments. I want to thank every member of staff for the warm atmosphere they create.

Some day, I’ll probably tell my child about it. It will be good for her to know that not everything in life goes as planned.

Sometimes you have to fight for what you want and ask for help. And that can lead to something wonderful and sweet like her.

I recommend it to everyone. When a wonderful woman donates her eggs, she creates a good chance for someone else to have a baby. It’s a chance worth taking. We are extremely happy.

The blog writer is a customer of Ovumia writing under a pseudonym.

Read more about treatments with donated eggs in Ovumia

Treatments with donated eggs

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